Show Up Anyway

I’m going to let you in on a little secret... 

We’re all a mess. 

We’re all mumbling WTF throughout the day. 

Yep....all of us. 

Even those mom friends who look like they stepped off the runway to pick their kids up from school. 

Even those moms on social media in their perfect kitchens with their cute littles in matching outfits. 

Let me just say....I’m over it. 

Earlier this year, my boss called me with a great opportunity. The first step was a short-term lateral move which would be the springboard for an upcoming promotion. When it came time for the promotion, I learned the company was heading in a new direction that would require me to relocate to accept the role. 

Now...this is part where I pause to say I know people relocate for their careers all the time. I’m not here to judge others’ decisions...but for me...there is not a job on this planet that would be worth uprooting my family for. When we were younger, my husband and I may have thought differently about the prospect and even considered the possibility exciting. That’s not our reality today. Today, we’re established in our community—our families are here, our kids are involved in school activities, we have great neighbors. 

So, the great opportunity at work didn’t go as planned. Guess what happened to my attitude with this non-promotion? 

I became resentful. My short-term role was no longer short-term, and I couldn’t see a path forward. I didn’t want to be at work, and I was too emotionally drained after my workday to spend time with my family. 

When I was at work, I wasn’t fun to be around. I pushed back and questioned everything...and I cried. Almost every day, I would turn off my webcam and just sit in my office and sob...about nothing...about everything.  

When I was at home, I was a blob on the couch with my nose in my Kindle. I needed to escape my feelings, and I was just numb. 

I was past the point of masking my frustration with memes and gifs, so I scheduled coaching and attended webinars focused on overcoming these feelings of overwhelm and dissatisfaction. 

I was attending a virtual work meeting one day, only halfway paying attention and heard the presenter say, “You are doing your life’s work here,” and that’s when it hit me. Is my work important? Sure. Does my work make a difference? You bet. But is it really my life’s work? Not a chance.  

My life’s work is in being a loving wife and mother.  

My life’s work is in being a supportive friend and community member.  

I’ll see my life’s work accomplished when my boys are grown men who love God and their families. 

I’m still working on the resentment, but I’m coming to realize that I still got that great opportunity. It just happens to be with myself rather than my company. 

I don’t have it all figured out just yet, but my focus has shifted. Rather than looking for fulfillment and worth in what I do for a living, I’m choosing to find fulfillment and worth in my life...with my people. 

Even on the crazy days, when I just want to hide under a blanket and ignore everything, I’m going to choose to show up anyway. 

I want to challenge you to show up anyway, too. 

Show Up Anyway